Court Jester Appreciator Gifts

Comedy emerges from a character witness.

'There hasn't been an assassination attempt all week -- what are they up to out there?'

'My client files for appeal, Your Honor, on grounds that the judge is a clown!'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"Take this declaration of war and punch it up."

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

TV jester.

'How about a game of cards?'

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

COWS: Cow Pong

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

"I say we move on to dessert."

'Court is in recess for one hour. Everyone convene on the playground and we will choose sides for dodgeball!'

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

Justice 4 Ron

"I don't think you can get a peace prize for ending a war that you started."

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

Medieval headlines.

'They named special prosecutors to investigate each other.'

Basketball.

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

"I hope I'm not embarrassing you, Elaine... I guess I've always been a fool for love."

"Another slander suit!"

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

'Captain, we're going to have to ask you to stop spiking the ball.'

'That will be 100 hours of community service in some other community.'

'The score is tied and we've only got a 20-second timeout, so we've gotta be quick. ... I'm 'X'. Who wants to be 'O'?'

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

'Radford, go in for Bloom. ... Uh-uh-uh! Finish your vegetables first!'