Judgment Day Jokester Pillows

"I can help the next person in line."

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

Arrogant junior barrister

Justice

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

'...In an attempt to speed up our backlog of cases we've computerized the scales of justice.'

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

"...They must be poor catchers, there's two men behind the plate."

"Simple yes or no. Are the cartoons funny?"

McWit Legal College

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

'It wasn't easy, but I got you a jury of your peers — six hairdressers, five interior decorators, and a professor of 18th Century poetry.'

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

"If you can't take it with you, this must be Hell."

Mel Hoffman - Attorney TO the stars.

"No, go ahead. I enjoy good gossipy hearsay."

'I warned you counselor, no more tricks.'

"Guilty times infinity."

"Have't seen this before...I'll need to ask the boss."

Other than a high chair, what qualifies you to sit in judgment? A lethal gavel.

"This is as far as your air miles take you."

"The genius of the justice system for us is that everyone has the right to a lawyer."

'There's no catch, Mr. Jones. We offer 100% bonefide, free, crummy legal advice.'

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'

'My client is willing to endure raised eyebrows from the general public for his behaviour.'

"It's nice to see the police toughening up on juvenile crime."

'Yes, I can defend you, but we may have a tough time selecting a jury of your peers.'

Juror crochets hangman's noose.

"You want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" (Colour)

I swear to tell the truth, but not solemnly.

Small Clams Court

Your Honor, We Find The Defendant 'Naughty'.

Are you guilty or not guilty? What happens if I plead guilty?