Judgment Humorist Pillows

"Tia Carmen, kids don't dress up to get attention...

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

Antonin Scalia

"Impartiality becomes you."

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

Judge

"Simple yes or no. Are the cartoons funny?"

"And what's more, you have a complete disrespect for the law."

"We the jury, find the defendant to be as guilty as he looks."

"We all make mistakes, as Your Honor knows, having been twice reprimanded by the New York State Commission on Juridical Conduct."

"O.K., O.K., house arrest."

Dreary counsel sending the judge and jury to sleep

'We find the defendant guilty, the defense a showboater and the DA a legal mal-practitioner.'

'The defendant and the witnesses were bad enough, but then the JURY got hostile.'

Lawyers chasing a sacrificial lamb.

"My attorney feels it's unwise for me to continue to represent you."

'I'm sentencing you to 100 hours of community service. Be at Twin Lakes Country Club at 8am sharp. I need a caddy.'

"I forgot to call in dead."

'I'm sure the Senate will affirm my action.'

"He won't bite, but he carries with him a large repository of judgements."

'Oh, boy!'

'Orders in the court'

A Good, But Not A Supreme Court

'...Plus thirty days for not turning off your damn cell phone!'

The US Supreme Court displays its rulings out front.

'No kidding? -- Nine life sentences?'

'In accordance with California guild lines, I sentence you to death. You will be taken to death row where you will die of old age.'

'I'm going to lay a guilt trip on you, man.'

"Guilty. I sentence you to six months of jury duty."

"You're free to go. Please exit through the gift shop."

Juvenile Court