Judgment Humorist Pillows

"Tia Carmen, kids don't dress up to get attention...

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

"Impartiality becomes you."

Antonin Scalia

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

Judge

"Simple yes or no. Are the cartoons funny?"

"We the jury, find the defendant to be as guilty as he looks."

"And what's more, you have a complete disrespect for the law."

"O.K., O.K., house arrest."

"We all make mistakes, as Your Honor knows, having been twice reprimanded by the New York State Commission on Juridical Conduct."

Dreary counsel sending the judge and jury to sleep

Lawyers chasing a sacrificial lamb.

Should I be encouraged by your robe, your honor? No. It's just laundry day. Have a nice verdict.

'The defendant and the witnesses were bad enough, but then the JURY got hostile.'

A Judicial Error. (Judge has hit his thumb with his gavel.)

'We find the defendant guilty, the defense a showboater and the DA a legal mal-practitioner.'

"My attorney feels it's unwise for me to continue to represent you."

"I forgot to call in dead."

'I'm sentencing you to 100 hours of community service. Be at Twin Lakes Country Club at 8am sharp. I need a caddy.'

'I'm sure the Senate will affirm my action.'

"He won't bite, but he carries with him a large repository of judgements."

'Oh, boy!'

A Good, But Not A Supreme Court

'...Plus thirty days for not turning off your damn cell phone!'

'Orders in the court'

The US Supreme Court displays its rulings out front.

Evaluating the humorousness of cartoons.

'In accordance with California guild lines, I sentence you to death. You will be taken to death row where you will die of old age.'

"You're free to go. Please exit through the gift shop."

'No kidding? -- Nine life sentences?'

"Guilty. I sentence you to six months of jury duty."

No, I'm not asking you to declare the witness hostile, you honor. Can you just declare him

'I'm going to lay a guilt trip on you, man.'