Judge Of Humor Pillows

"My attorney feels it's unwise for me to continue to represent you."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

Justice

"Impartiality becomes you."

Antonin Scalia

'...In an attempt to speed up our backlog of cases we've computerized the scales of justice.'

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

Judge

"Simple yes or no. Are the cartoons funny?"

"No, go ahead. I enjoy good gossipy hearsay."

'I warned you counselor, no more tricks.'

'There's no catch, Mr. Jones. We offer 100% bonefide, free, crummy legal advice.'

"And what's more, you have a complete disrespect for the law."

Dreary counsel sending the judge and jury to sleep

"You want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" (Colour)

"We all make mistakes, as Your Honor knows, having been twice reprimanded by the New York State Commission on Juridical Conduct."

"O.K., O.K., house arrest."

'We find the defendant guilty, the defense a showboater and the DA a legal mal-practitioner.'

Lawyers chasing a sacrificial lamb.

'The defendant and the witnesses were bad enough, but then the JURY got hostile.'

'My name is Judge Clyde Sandorf; better known as 'ol' tough as nails'.'

'I'm sure the Senate will affirm my action.'

"He won't bite, but he carries with him a large repository of judgements."

'Oh, boy!'

'Case dismissed! -- I just reached retirement age!'

'I'm leaning towards not leaning towards anything.'

'Orders in the court'

"I find in favour of Aggie's Day Care. Defendant is ordered to sit in the corner for one hour."

A Good, But Not A Supreme Court

'...Plus thirty days for not turning off your damn cell phone!'

The US Supreme Court displays its rulings out front.

"I just love that new class action lawsuit smell."