Judgement Humorist Pillows

"He won't bite, but he carries with him a large repository of judgements."

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

"Impartiality becomes you."

Antonin Scalia

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

Judge

"Simple yes or no. Are the cartoons funny?"

"Have't seen this before...I'll need to ask the boss."

"And what's more, you have a complete disrespect for the law."

"We the jury, find the defendant to be as guilty as he looks."

"We all make mistakes, as Your Honor knows, having been twice reprimanded by the New York State Commission on Juridical Conduct."

Dreary counsel sending the judge and jury to sleep

"O.K., O.K., house arrest."

Lawyers chasing a sacrificial lamb.

'The defendant and the witnesses were bad enough, but then the JURY got hostile.'

"Your honor, we'll stipulate to the fact that he looks guilty."

"My attorney feels it's unwise for me to continue to represent you."

'Guilty? Do you realize what that will do to my 'Who's Who' listing?'

"I forgot to call in dead."

'I'm sentencing you to 100 hours of community service. Be at Twin Lakes Country Club at 8am sharp. I need a caddy.'

'I'm sure the Senate will affirm my action.'

Prosecutor trying to link parking tickets and library fines with gangland killings.

'Oh, boy!'

'...Plus thirty days for not turning off your damn cell phone!'

'Orders in the court'

The US Supreme Court displays its rulings out front.

"Guilty. I sentence you to six months of jury duty."

'In accordance with California guild lines, I sentence you to death. You will be taken to death row where you will die of old age.'

'No kidding? -- Nine life sentences?'

"You're free to go. Please exit through the gift shop."

'We find him guilty... but hey... we could be wrong!'

'Did you, or did you not, say to the plaintiff,'I'm going to stooky you into next week, you wee bam'?'