Humor Judge Pillows

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

"Impartiality becomes you."

Antonin Scalia

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

Judge

"Simple yes or no. Are the cartoons funny?"

"And what's more, you have a complete disrespect for the law."

"O.K., O.K., house arrest."

"We all make mistakes, as Your Honor knows, having been twice reprimanded by the New York State Commission on Juridical Conduct."

Dreary counsel sending the judge and jury to sleep

'We find the defendant guilty, the defense a showboater and the DA a legal mal-practitioner.'

'The defendant and the witnesses were bad enough, but then the JURY got hostile.'

Lawyers chasing a sacrificial lamb.

Computer questionning a witness.

"My attorney feels it's unwise for me to continue to represent you."

'I'm sentencing you to 100 hours of community service. Be at Twin Lakes Country Club at 8am sharp. I need a caddy.'

'I'm sure the Senate will affirm my action.'

'Oh, boy!'

'Case dismissed! -- I just reached retirement age!'

'You are charged with getting involved in the political process....'

'Orders in the court'

"I find in favour of Aggie's Day Care. Defendant is ordered to sit in the corner for one hour."

'...Plus thirty days for not turning off your damn cell phone!'

The US Supreme Court displays its rulings out front.

'I'm going to lay a guilt trip on you, man.'

"You're free to go. Please exit through the gift shop."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'We, the jury, find the defendant to be a brutal, morally bereft, unscrupulous scum-bag AND guilty as charged.'

Court of Appeals maintains suspension of immigration restrictions

"I've never seen anybody literally sue everybody in sight before."