Judgment Day Jesters Pillows

"Due to a mixup in the paperwork you've been sent to doggie heaven."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"#notguilty."

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

Yawning barristers in court

A baby in court

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

'He started it!'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

Sub Post Office/Sub-Justice

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

"I got probation."

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

Justice