Judgement Day Jester Pillows

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"I brought out the meekness in others."

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"We're following Carrot Top."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"#notguilty."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

Drunk Barber

Yawning barristers in court

A baby in court

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

The Scones-Monkey Trial. I, Judge Sadie, am prepared to rule. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Intelligent design versus evolution. Borrrinnng. That is my legal finding. Appeal. Will all bipeds please rise.

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

'He started it!'

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

Justice

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'