Verdict Jester Pillows

"It would appear that we have a hung jury."

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"We're following Carrot Top."

Dog walking Human.

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"#notguilty."

Yawning barristers in court

A baby in court

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

The Scones-Monkey Trial. I, Judge Sadie, am prepared to rule. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Intelligent design versus evolution. Borrrinnng. That is my legal finding. Appeal. Will all bipeds please rise.

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'He started it!'

Justice

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'