Jurisprudence Jester Pillows

'My client asserts that walking on land was his idea and he therefore claims 50% of all subsequent profits.'

"No one could claim that Judge Walker doesn't approach these obscenity hearings with an open mind."

'In this next precedent, an attorney lost his frivolous lawsuit complaint and his opponent then filed a frivolous 'frivolous lawsuit' lawsuit.'

"We're following Carrot Top."

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

Dog walking Human.

'How about a game of cards?'

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"#notguilty."

Yawning barristers in court

A baby in court

"I say we move on to dessert."

Basketball.

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

'Court is in recess for one hour. Everyone convene on the playground and we will choose sides for dodgeball!'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'