Judgment Day Jester Pillows

"This is as far as your air miles take you."

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'How about a game of cards?'

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"#notguilty."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

Yawning barristers in court

"I say we move on to dessert."

A baby in court

'Court is in recess for one hour. Everyone convene on the playground and we will choose sides for dodgeball!'

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

The Scones-Monkey Trial. I, Judge Sadie, am prepared to rule. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Intelligent design versus evolution. Borrrinnng. That is my legal finding. Appeal. Will all bipeds please rise.

Basketball.

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

'He started it!'

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

'Captain, we're going to have to ask you to stop spiking the ball.'

'That will be 100 hours of community service in some other community.'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'