Joking Gentleman Gifts

"Ladies! Ladies! Do you wanna roll my Mercedes..."

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

Sure, he likes it here - he's a cartoonist.

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

"But don't let my wacky tie fool you. We actually take business very seriously around here."

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

Get crazy once in a while

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"I brought you a wig because you said you like long hair."

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

A crab with a utility knife claw

Signs of Aging: Light headedness, shortening, waxy skin, burn out and hot flashes.

'Our family has a dry sense of humor, and we don't laugh that much.'

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

Wet Cement. Always the joker, aren't you, Ernie?

Pesky students.

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

Caution May Contain Nuts.

"Just toot my horn and I'll be there."

"So yeah - This is my ideal first date."

A Young Boy Talking To An Old Gentleman.

'Half o' mild and a bag of pork scratchings - you're grooming me, aren't you?'

Giraffe wanders into Lion country.

Extremely Practical Jokes.

'Just remember, he's bigger, but you're funnier. As soon as he starts laughing, you've got him!'

"You've got to be kidding me." Hoover Dam

Bottle-nosed Dolphins.

Bishop has his robes stuck in his pants.