Gentlemanly Humorist Gifts

Life of Riley #4: Panache.

'It appears he hit an iceberg.' (A LETTUCE)

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

Daffodil bulbs

'Pink isn't EITHER the new black!'

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

"It makes sense when you see the second painting with the lego."

Mary Margaret, the best bar nun.

"Wow! That's an amazing welding project!"

"I'm feeling adventurous today, Penny – let's tack on a block."

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."

"Listen, the first pterodactyl of spring."

Surreal Ale Pub.

'Vacuums!'

"Of course I want to have kids, Claire - just not all the time."

Just Survived My 3rd COVID Scare Dance.

"What's the difference between being addicted to painkillers and just really, really liking them a lot?"

"Could you put me 'on hold' Mom? I could use a hug."

'It's a good job I was trapped by my wooden leg and not my good one, son!'

'Any idea where my night vision visor is?'

"You must cut down on your smoking."

"Dude, don't say it..."

"Wisdom is growing your hair long so the hairs growing in your ears don't show

"Good news, we found a plant the cured baldness."

"I've forgotten your face but I remember your mask."

Dad Socks / Dad Sex

"We've got to strike the setup. The patron wants organic."

"This was the best school day of the week!"

'Don't make me use my chemical weapons...'

"Now that the kids and grandkids are grown I can get back to more erotic embroidery."