Playful Humorist Gifts

'Don't make me use my chemical weapons...'

"I take it your're not one of her favourites."

"Could you put me 'on hold' Mom? I could use a hug."

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

'It appears he hit an iceberg.' (A LETTUCE)

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

Football Chameleon

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

"The Eggsorcist"

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

Radiator jazz player

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

Elevator Music

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

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The Phantom Of The Garden

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

Opera singer singing to her partner who is wearing a gas mask on due to her bad breath.

Guitar pickin'

Double Saxophone

Daffodil bulbs

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

Rap-scallions

Waiter in resturant sawing violin.

"Who is 'coming around the mountain,' John? Could it be your mother?"

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

'PHWOAR! You should have seen her rear end when she sat on the piano. . . played 'TINK' and 'BOOM' at the same time!'

"There will be a Q&A...but in this era of Trump I will be insulting anyone whose questions I don't like."

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

"Beans, Them Beans, Them Beans, Beans, Beans..."