Joking Gentleman Pillows

"Ladies! Ladies! Do you wanna roll my Mercedes..."

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

"But don't let my wacky tie fool you. We actually take business very seriously around here."

Get crazy once in a while

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

"I brought you a wig because you said you like long hair."

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

Pesky students.

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

"Just toot my horn and I'll be there."

Caution May Contain Nuts.

A crab with a utility knife claw

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

'Our family has a dry sense of humor, and we don't laugh that much.'

'Just remember, he's bigger, but you're funnier. As soon as he starts laughing, you've got him!'

Bottle-nosed Dolphins.

A Young Boy Talking To An Old Gentleman.

Extremely Practical Jokes.

"So yeah - This is my ideal first date."

"You've got to be kidding me." Hoover Dam

'Half o' mild and a bag of pork scratchings - you're grooming me, aren't you?'

Giraffe wanders into Lion country.

"Sometime I feel people go out of their way just to scare me."

Bishop has his robes stuck in his pants.