Joyful Jokester Pillows

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'

Men dancing

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

I laughed so hard that milk came out my nose.

'No wine, but tidings of great joy.'

'I'm just trying to protect the Queen.'

This Sleigh Carries No Recalled Chinese Toys.

Celebrity Clown Rehab: 'And so how does that make you feel, Chuckles?'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

Fleas Navidad.

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

"Merry Christmas"

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

A crab with a utility knife claw

Mr Claus, tests indicate your blood is 95% milk and cookies.

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

Father Christmas uses laptop on roof. Man says: 'I think someone is stealing our wi-fi.'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

Why are you insisting on spending Christmas in hospital, Gran? I prefer the Santa here, darling.

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

Pelobong

Drainpipe in a sombrero.

Priest with the Pet Devil.

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

'Apparently our postcode qualifies us for Government sponsored loft insulation.'

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

Leaving cards.

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

Lengray's 1,001 practical Jokes for beginners (a man getting punched in the face with a mechanical glove).