Gentlemen Humorist Pillows

Gentlemen's graffiti: 'Your Mother is merely an adequate cook.'

"You're going to hate yourself."

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

Daffodil bulbs

"Why can’t this count as ‘date night’?"

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

"Are you sure this is a 'Flu virus?" "See for yourself...it's nose is running!"

Magic Act

I think we should stick to doing this with a piano.

Champagne at the hunt

'To begin with, he's from Mars, I'm from Venus...'

Surreal Ale Pub.

"Ladies! Ladies! Do you wanna roll my Mercedes..."

'Vacuums!'

Bride of Frankenstein charges her phone

"Listen, the first pterodactyl of spring."

'We've found the problem...'

'A crack team of scientists searches tirelessly for a cure for baldness.'

Just Survived My 3rd COVID Scare Dance.

'And so, Ladies and Germs, I conclude that we must promote homeopathy! This may be our best chance to wipe out the human race since the glory days of the Black Plague.'

'You don't sniff my butt anymore.'

"Edgar, I'm talking to you! For goodness sake, has the cat got your tongue?"

'I've become resistant to antibiotics, but what I dread is a shot of whisky in a cup of hot tea.'

'Can't you tell people about our new swimming pool without saying I've 'gone off the deep end?''

'It's a good job I was trapped by my wooden leg and not my good one, son!'

'What do you want that for? You're already going nowhere fast.'

'Any idea where my night vision visor is?'

I say when life hands you a lemon, make lemonade

"Technically, I don't think you can claim to have saved your husband's life on several occasions just because you haven't killed him!"

"I picked this up from the humans. . . two metre gap. . . gives us a much wider spread."

A caveman looks at erotic paintings

"Dude, don't say it..."

"I've forgotten your face but I remember your mask."

"At this point, we're only staying together for the sake of the pets."

I was bitten by a radioactive bedbug – My superpower is getting a solid eight hours of sleep every night. Wow. So lucky.