Jokes_about_crime Pillows

"Do you realize how outdated you are? Now there's malware, spyware, ransomware. . ."

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

The Mafia Goes Green.

"Remember, we're an enlightened group. We victimize everyone. No hate crimes for us."

"I want to report a race crime.'

The Mafia isn't what it used to be...

"I'm investigating the theft of a breadcrumb by an ant matching your description."

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

'Hello, Mum!'

'I'm always broke because I keep getting MUGGED!'

"Do you know what time they open love?"

"Do you remember what you had for lunch last Thursday?"

I've heard of on-line banking, but I think this may be the first ever attempt at an armed, on-line bank robbery!"

Catburglar's anonymous. Sign saying 'door not in use'.

Smelly mugger unfazed by victims CS Gas

Spokane County Police Department

...Mr.Colman is busy right now - he's burning some books.

Cuffwear, 2004

Police artist drawing a snarling dog while an injured cat desribes him

"I've rented the extra room to an escaped convict - maybe you know him."

"And this time, Figgis, try to play it as if you are not using 'forged notes'."

'Number three. Definitely number three.'

Dental records help ID the body. That's how they know who to bill.

"Before you identify the suspect, you need to confirm your identity."

Criminal Profiling ID Parade

'No thanks, I don't except suites from neighbours.'

'Just your credit cards. I don't feel safe carrying cash these days.'

"I'm still not sure which one of them took my wallet. Maybe if they took off their shirts again."

Organised Crime / Disorganised Crime

"It's the city's new taxpayer-funded crime beautification program."

'The gun went off while you were cleaning it, eh? †in a BANK?'