Jokes_about_crime T-Shirts

"Do you realize how outdated you are? Now there's malware, spyware, ransomware. . ."

'Yes, folks, the victim was a bolt. Now, I'm afraid, he's a deadbolt.'

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

The Mafia Goes Green.

'I don't think the killer would in the garden...that'd be waaaay too obvious.'

"I'm investigating the theft of a breadcrumb by an ant matching your description."

The Mafia isn't what it used to be...

"I want to report a race crime.'

"Remember, we're an enlightened group. We victimize everyone. No hate crimes for us."

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

'Hello, Mum!'

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

'I'm always broke because I keep getting MUGGED!'

"Do you know what time they open love?"

Spokane County Police Department

"Do you remember what you had for lunch last Thursday?"

My guys will loot, Bjorn's guys will pillage and your guys will make it all legal.

I've heard of on-line banking, but I think this may be the first ever attempt at an armed, on-line bank robbery!"

Smelly mugger unfazed by victims CS Gas

...Mr.Colman is busy right now - he's burning some books.

Cuffwear, 2004

Catburglar's anonymous. Sign saying 'door not in use'.

Police artist drawing a snarling dog while an injured cat desribes him

'Number three. Definitely number three.'

"Before you identify the suspect, you need to confirm your identity."

"I've rented the extra room to an escaped convict - maybe you know him."

"And this time, Figgis, try to play it as if you are not using 'forged notes'."

"Just pick out the one who ate your husband."

Dental records help ID the body. That's how they know who to bill.

Criminal Profiling ID Parade

'Just your credit cards. I don't feel safe carrying cash these days.'

'No thanks, I don't except suites from neighbours.'

"I'm still not sure which one of them took my wallet. Maybe if they took off their shirts again."

"Come back later when our computers are back up."

"It's the city's new taxpayer-funded crime beautification program."