Crime Scene Joke Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Before you identify the suspect, you need to confirm your identity."

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

"We need rain."

Next camera crew 5 mins

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

'I mean, what sort of thief only takes a dog bowl?'

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."

Turkey Autopsy

"One crime on this island and everyone's a suspect!"

Police Lineup Escape

"Has anyone considered that maybe his dress was a disguise?"

'I'm going to ask you one more time; who left a hot mug on this table?'

"Ignore him - he hates everyone I haul in for questioning."

"I'm home, with all my DNA."

'You're not supposed to block off an area to look for your contact lens.'

"Well, obviously the victim had a French enemy."

"Check this wall for fingerprints."

"Let me through... I’m an armchair detective!"

"We think we've found the murder weapon Sir"

Penguin identity parade

Hanging Mime - Such a waste of talent.

"Any clues?"

"I found a partial thumbprint. Let's get the heck out of here"

'Jimmy. Stick to the outline.'

Melted Snow Man behind police cordon

"Looks like a tragic accident Chief. Although how he could trip and fall under a road roller beats me."

'I won't be able to look up your account right now. Our computers have been impounded by the authorities.'

Police Fair.