Crime Scene Joke Enthusiast Gifts

"Before you identify the suspect, you need to confirm your identity."

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

Next camera crew 5 mins

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

"We need rain."

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

'Yes, folks, the victim was a bolt. Now, I'm afraid, he's a deadbolt.'

'I mean, what sort of thief only takes a dog bowl?'

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

Turkey Autopsy

"One crime on this island and everyone's a suspect!"

Police Lineup Escape

Penguin identity parade

'I'm going to ask you one more time; who left a hot mug on this table?'

Party balloons. Looks like an inside job. Helium.

"Ignore him - he hates everyone I haul in for questioning."

"Check this wall for fingerprints."

'You're not supposed to block off an area to look for your contact lens.'

"Well, obviously the victim had a French enemy."

"I'm home, with all my DNA."

"We think we've found the murder weapon Sir"

Hanging Mime - Such a waste of talent.

"Has anyone considered that maybe his dress was a disguise?"

"Let me through... I’m an armchair detective!"

"Any clues?"

"I found a partial thumbprint. Let's get the heck out of here"

'Jimmy. Stick to the outline.'

"Looks like a tragic accident Chief. Although how he could trip and fall under a road roller beats me."

Melted Snow Man behind police cordon

'I won't be able to look up your account right now. Our computers have been impounded by the authorities.'