Crime Scene Parody Lover Gifts

Dead Snowman Police Outlines.

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

Just our luck...old school crime translation classes!

'I don't care how you do it...just make it look like an accident.'

"I said freeze, punk, I didn't mean literally!"

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

'Yes, folks, the victim was a bolt. Now, I'm afraid, he's a deadbolt.'

"Well, obviously the victim had a French enemy."

"Better idea! Let's obstruct traffic in the guy's neighborhood and make his morning commute difficult!"

"Hmm. . . it looks like he was struck on the head with a blunt object. . . If only I could find out what the murder weapon could be. . ."

"I want to report a race crime.'

"What part of ‘secure the crime scene’ don’t you understand?!!"

"I'm sorry, sir, but a blade's a blade."

'They profiled me just because I'm a bank robber!'

Pinata Crime Scene Investigation.

'Did he say anything before he died?'

'Can you prove it's your hat?'

"You mean to say, Mr. 'Smiles,' that someone else left the scene wearing size 22 shoes?"

'Hi Peter, it's Chris Tarrant here, from 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire?''

Joke Shop.

'I robbed the bank because you can't win if you don't play!'

'I say, are you fellows going to be long?'

"I'm just going to step into the bank to get some money for dinner."

Serious Crime Squad, Light-Hearted Crime Squad, Happy As Larry Crime Squad.

"I'll teach you to muscle in on my business- it's a concrete undercoat for you."

'And what do you do?'

'Just move along...Nothing core to see here.'

'Looks like he landed sunny side up.'

'Honest, officer. I really did think this was a pawn shop. I just wanted to see how much I could get for my sawn-off shotgun.'

Hooked on fried sardines, Irene's cat leads them on a life of crime.

'We know you're in there Bannerwitz! Now open the dam door!!'

'ARRRGH you idiot,you idiot!!' 'When i said take the Don out, i MEANT for lunch!!' (a stupid mob guy kills the boss)