Crime Satire Pillows

"How would you rate this mugging, on a scale of one to ten?"

Old Bag Snatcher.

"Do as I say -- not as I do!"

Bank Robber Queue.

The Mugging

"You can be whatever you want to be when you grow, thanks to identity theft."

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."

Petty Aero Larceny - I Stealing a Dinner.

'That's the last frivolous law suit I want to see any lawyer wearing in this court!'

'I hope you don't mind. To save time and money, we've sworn in the firing squad as the jury.'

"You have the right to remain silent, anytime you cry can be used against you...."

"I want to report a race crime.'

'...and to you, he has left his leprosy.'

'What could I have done? The defence's motion was written on legal tender.'

"It was passed from my grandfather to my father, from my father to me, and now from me to you. Twenty bucks."

"You mean to say, Mr. 'Smiles,' that someone else left the scene wearing size 22 shoes?"

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

'First off, your average Paolozzi has far fewer holes than your Moore.'

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

Mafia machine gun case.

'Perhaps you would like to rephrase your last answer.'

Money Launderette

'And what do you do?'

Smelly mugger unfazed by victims CS Gas

Spokane County Police Department

Incriminating Evidence Against the Cat Burglar.

Crooks

Prison Vacation For Mafiosi

My guys will loot, Bjorn's guys will pillage and your guys will make it all legal.

"After all, it is a frivolous lawsuit..."

Baggage Claim: Anyone Who Knows How To Hot-Wire A Car.

'Armed robbery, eh? I'm in for being out of compliance with a Federal guideline

Turkey pardoned by Trump still faces state charges.