Crime Satire Gifts

"How would you rate this mugging, on a scale of one to ten?"

Old Bag Snatcher.

"Do as I say -- not as I do!"

Bank Robber Queue.

The Mugging

"You can be whatever you want to be when you grow, thanks to identity theft."

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."

'That's the last frivolous law suit I want to see any lawyer wearing in this court!'

'I hope you don't mind. To save time and money, we've sworn in the firing squad as the jury.'

Petty Aero Larceny - I Stealing a Dinner.

"I want to report a race crime.'

"You have the right to remain silent, anytime you cry can be used against you...."

'...and to you, he has left his leprosy.'

'What could I have done? The defence's motion was written on legal tender.'

"It was passed from my grandfather to my father, from my father to me, and now from me to you. Twenty bucks."

"You mean to say, Mr. 'Smiles,' that someone else left the scene wearing size 22 shoes?"

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

Mafia machine gun case.

'First off, your average Paolozzi has far fewer holes than your Moore.'

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

'Perhaps you would like to rephrase your last answer.'

'And what do you do?'

Money Launderette

"After all, it is a frivolous lawsuit..."

Smelly mugger unfazed by victims CS Gas

Baggage Claim: Anyone Who Knows How To Hot-Wire A Car.

Incriminating Evidence Against the Cat Burglar.

Prison Vacation For Mafiosi

Spokane County Police Department

Crooks

'Armed robbery, eh? I'm in for being out of compliance with a Federal guideline

Turkey pardoned by Trump still faces state charges.

"Did any of these guys sell you the acid?"