Joker Of The Jaw Gifts

'Make do with those until yours come back.'

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

"It's not carrots but the love of carrots that's the root of all evil."

"It was a botched surgery."

"One more question, Mr Cake. How do you feel about wearing a sheet, creeping about people's bedrooms and saying 'woo'?"

"I'll take your word for it. You don't have to show me your used floss."

Outback rat house? Darn ! Wish you guys would've said somethin' sooner. I just ate a hop pocket.

Just another day at Helium Farm

"Looks like we left out the wrong brownies."

'Bloomin Hippies!'

House with 'Dog For Sale' sign. Cat walks by holding 'Good Riddance' sign.

'You sure picked a great place to have kittens.'

'As a kid, whenever I was at a petting zoo, I got bit, butted and stomped on.'

"You know, your poker face is useless if you keep wagging your tail."

"Let's see if we can't scatter the trash all over his desktop."

'Why do I have to cover my mouth when I cough?' 'To keep your teeth from flying across the room!'

"I've got a dog licence. Will that do?"

'Stick...'

'No, it only has a driver-side airbag.'

When Barry decided to start a campaign for gum control.

"To be fair - he DID say he was going to rearrange your face...!"

"Bitch."

Grandpa was proud of the effect his signature stolen nose trick was having on the young crowd. It wasn't until later that anyone explained to him how Dylan had lost his real nose in a horrible sledging accident.

"Does your tooth still hurt?"

Do you have health insurance ?

'Only plaque I ever got was from forgetting to floss.'

'Is he house-broken?'

Royal Flush

"I'm fairly sure you're supposed to take them off first."

'So that's where I left my glasses!'