Job Market Jokester Gifts

Caveman at job centre.

"Of course there are some advantages to working here...we have a Food Bank situated conveniently at the end of the street!"

'Organ donor. Any other talents?'

'I told him to take this job and shove it, and he told me to take this pink slip and shove off!'

"I don't know why I never got a second interview. I thought I killed the first one."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"And where have you previously moused?"

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

How are you at decision making?

'Yes, can I help you?'

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

Impressive qualifications, but seeing as how I'm trying to fill the position I just fired you from...

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

The world's most unemployable family

A man is selling, 'Cameron voodoo dolls', outside of job centre.

Opp'y of a Lifetime

Now Hiring. Artificial Intelligence & Research Lab. "Artificial Intelligence"? Great! I'd be a real asset to your project since I'm not as intelligent as I look!

'I see an applicant being hired!'

"It has come to my attention that you may have been somewhat less than forthcoming in your résumé."

'Are you free at the moment?'

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."

Now hiring.

'This is the age of specialisation - you can't be a hunter AND a gatherer.'

'Reinvent yourself, and get back to us.'

'We've replaced the hiring bonus and the health coverage with a promise of a job.'

"We got him through a firm of headhunters"

'We heat the entire building by burning resumes.'

Personnel. Portions of my resume have been redacted for national security reasons.

"Good: I see you're fluent in nonsense."

"Damn tail... now he's going to ask for more money."

'A resume painted in oils on canvas? How long have you been out of work?'

'Sorry, but I don't think you're right for our company.'