Job Hunting Jokester Gifts

'There's a vacancy for phantom of the bingo hall.'

'Petting-Zoo employee: Now, that sounds like a good job...'

"Your ad said you're looking for an ambitious person, but it doesn't say when you're leaving."

"This is an impressive resume, but do you have other experience besides 'barking a lot'?"

"Unfortunately, you do not meet our current needs."

"I see, and other than creating havoc and terror, do you have any other job skills?"

"I want to get him something for Christmas he's never had before."

"I expected you would write something."

"Are there any openings in the labor department?"

"My biggest weakness? I'm a perfectionist."

"In addition to 'loyalty' are there any OTHER qualities you think you could bring to the job?"

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

A man is selling, 'Cameron voodoo dolls', outside of job centre.

'Probably giving evidence at some sort of industrial tribunal....heh!'

'Are you free at the moment?'

'Interesting resume, would you mind if I kept it overnight? I'd like to take it home with me...and scare the living daylight out of my kids.'

'When I said you'd have to jump through hoops, I meant you'll have to literally jump through hoops.'

'Your resume is quite impressive. However, I'm a little concerned about you biting your last four bosses.'

"We are looking for temps, but I'm afraid you're too temp for us."

'Sorry, but I don't think you're right for our company.'

"So, Ms. Mayfly. Where do you see yourself in five years?"

"My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references."

"I only live for 24 hours, so I need a temp job that pays big bugs."

"Of course there are some advantages to working here...we have a Food Bank situated conveniently at the end of the street!"

"It pains me to do this, but you're hired."

Bit of a mix-up. The advert should have said 'Stalactite wanted'

"You remind me very much of myself when I was your age, Carter, and there is no way that this company would employ such a person."

"We need someone who's responsible."

"Do you have any specific experience other than 'this and that'?"

'If there are any current employees traveling with children or siblings or cousins or nephews or...'

ROBOT EMPLOYMENT AGENCY, 'We don't have much on hand right now --how'd you like to be a Pez dispenser?'

"I have to admit, I've never seen anyone list 'cleaning out my desk' as a job skill."

"Don't worry mate... We've rung for an economist."

"I see by your r?sum? that i should have looked at it before inviting you for an interview."

Will work for question marks.