Job Market Jokester Pillows

Caveman at job centre.

"Of course there are some advantages to working here...we have a Food Bank situated conveniently at the end of the street!"

'Organ donor. Any other talents?'

'I told him to take this job and shove it, and he told me to take this pink slip and shove off!'

"I don't know why I never got a second interview. I thought I killed the first one."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"And where have you previously moused?"

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

How are you at decision making?

'Yes, can I help you?'

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

Impressive qualifications, but seeing as how I'm trying to fill the position I just fired you from...

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

The world's most unemployable family

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

A man is selling, 'Cameron voodoo dolls', outside of job centre.

Opp'y of a Lifetime

"It has come to my attention that you may have been somewhat less than forthcoming in your résumé."

'I see an applicant being hired!'

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."

'Are you free at the moment?'

'This is the age of specialisation - you can't be a hunter AND a gatherer.'

'Reinvent yourself, and get back to us.'

'We've replaced the hiring bonus and the health coverage with a promise of a job.'

"We got him through a firm of headhunters"

'We heat the entire building by burning resumes.'

"Good: I see you're fluent in nonsense."

"Damn tail... now he's going to ask for more money."

'Sorry, but I don't think you're right for our company.'

'A resume painted in oils on canvas? How long have you been out of work?'

'Evolution sounds good in theory, but what if we get overqualifed?'

'As you know, this is a Right-To-Work-Cheap-OR-we-send-your-job-to-Asia-state...'

"No, I'm sorry, we're looking for special people."