Job Market Joker Pillows

'I'm sorry, but we don't have a hiring freeze here.'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'A resume painted in oils on canvas? How long have you been out of work?'

The world's most unemployable family

'Anyone can bilk the 'have nots'. We're looking for someone who can bilk the 'haves'.'

'My career's in ruins. I'm an archaeologist.'

"Congratulations. We're 'last hired, first fired' here, so everyone agreed we had to hire someone!"

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"And where have you previously moused?"

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

'Yes, can I help you?'

How are you at decision making?

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

'If we get out of this alive, I'm going to have a darn good look at your resume.'

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'

"So, Mr Canary, I see you have experience as a mine safety specialist..."

"You don't mind the psychometric test, do you?"

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'You've spelt 'C.V.' wrongly.'

Impressive qualifications, but seeing as how I'm trying to fill the position I just fired you from...

"Ambitions... to make a career change from tourism to sales."

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

Dolestart - A New Initiative

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

'The reason I have been able to keep my job through these turbulent times, is that I welcome change, especially if it's from a vending machine.'

"We don't have a grievance committee, but we have a grieving committee for fired employees."

Opp'y of a Lifetime

"It has come to my attention that you may have been somewhat less than forthcoming in your résumé."

"Your former employer said you demonstrated a remarkable amount of 'get up and go'...especially when you were fired."

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."

'Restaurant' in bad need of staff

'I see an applicant being hired!'