Job Market Jokesters Gifts

The word going around is that the business administration graduates are hiring the engineering graduates.

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"And where have you previously moused?"

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

'Yes, can I help you?'

How are you at decision making?

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

"What's your occupation?"

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

Impressive qualifications, but seeing as how I'm trying to fill the position I just fired you from...

The world's most unemployable family

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

A man is selling, 'Cameron voodoo dolls', outside of job centre.

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

Opp'y of a Lifetime

'I see an applicant being hired!'

"It has come to my attention that you may have been somewhat less than forthcoming in your résumé."

'Are you free at the moment?'

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."

Now hiring.

Now Hiring. Artificial Intelligence & Research Lab. "Artificial Intelligence"? Great! I'd be a real asset to your project since I'm not as intelligent as I look!

'This is the age of specialisation - you can't be a hunter AND a gatherer.'

'Reinvent yourself, and get back to us.'

"We got him through a firm of headhunters"

'We've replaced the hiring bonus and the health coverage with a promise of a job.'

Personnel. Portions of my resume have been redacted for national security reasons.

"Damn tail... now he's going to ask for more money."

"Good: I see you're fluent in nonsense."

'We heat the entire building by burning resumes.'

'A resume painted in oils on canvas? How long have you been out of work?'

"The job requires some travel. Most of it centered around responding to Congressional subpoenas."

'Evolution sounds good in theory, but what if we get overqualifed?'

'As you know, this is a Right-To-Work-Cheap-OR-we-send-your-job-to-Asia-state...'

The Apprentice: Recession Special.