Job Market Jokesters Gifts

The word going around is that the business administration graduates are hiring the engineering graduates.

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"And where have you previously moused?"

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

How are you at decision making?

'Yes, can I help you?'

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

"What's your occupation?"

Impressive qualifications, but seeing as how I'm trying to fill the position I just fired you from...

A man is selling, 'Cameron voodoo dolls', outside of job centre.

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

The world's most unemployable family

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

Opp'y of a Lifetime

'I see an applicant being hired!'

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."

'Are you free at the moment?'

"It has come to my attention that you may have been somewhat less than forthcoming in your résumé."

'This is the age of specialisation - you can't be a hunter AND a gatherer.'

'Reinvent yourself, and get back to us.'

'We've replaced the hiring bonus and the health coverage with a promise of a job.'

"We got him through a firm of headhunters"

'We heat the entire building by burning resumes.'

"Damn tail... now he's going to ask for more money."

"Good: I see you're fluent in nonsense."

'A resume painted in oils on canvas? How long have you been out of work?'

'Evolution sounds good in theory, but what if we get overqualifed?'

'As you know, this is a Right-To-Work-Cheap-OR-we-send-your-job-to-Asia-state...'

The job interview was more thorough than roger had anticipated.

"No, I'm sorry, we're looking for special people."

"The job requires some travel. Most of it centered around responding to Congressional subpoenas."