Job Hopper Enthusiast Gifts

"I see by your resume, you don't stay in one place long."

'Do you think you could handle a wide variety of work?' - 'Yes I've had 9 jobs in the last two years '

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

"But what you call a track record I call ancient history."

Fruit Fly Job Interviews

Vote Progressive: 'It's not the rich, it's people trying to get rich who create new jobs!'

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

'I'm not here looking for a job. I'm the temp who's replacing you when the boss fires you today.'

"Getting back into the market can be stressful. I recommend a portfolio of sleep-aids, tranquilizers, and antacids.'

"This is a fast-paced job you're applying for...what are your goals...where do you see yourself in the next 10 minutes?"

Over enthusiastic headhunter

'We can't find a pond small enough where you'd be a big fish.'

"Say, you were right, Sheriff, this is the best way to keep up with the 'Space-Hopper Gang'."

"Loves it, just can't get the little fellow off it"

'What else do you have going for you besides being aggressive?'

"You're one of the short termed employed. You're out of here tomorrow."

"I've been an accountant, an actuary, an advertising exec, an administrator, an architect, an art director, and an auditor, and now I'd like to move on to the B's."

"You come highly recommended. I like that."

"I can handle a wide variety of work. In fact I've had ten different jobs in four months."

'He made me jump through hoops, but I got the job...'

"Tell us something we don't know."

'The Dow finally hit 10,000. Guess happy days are here again.'

"That's not all I do. Actually I'm a psychological counselor- gymnast-motivational speaker-relaxation therapist-sex worker."

Too much ambition results in promotion to a job you can't do.

"I'm leaving my job so that I can spend time with another job."

'When I grow up I', going to be an electrical engineer and when I'm laid off, I'm going to go into real estate and when that goes down the tube, I'm going to go into . . . '

'We have an opening for a receptionist and a sales person and I'm ready to quit. How are you at multitasking?'

"Thanks for coming in again. Sorry about the last time. I must have pulled the wrong lever by mistake."

'I'm willing to pay a hiring bonus to anyone who will hire me.'

'...plus, an annual molting leave!'

"I'll be right back. If you need anything, just holler."

"Chasing, digging, rolling, fetching. . . have you no experience doing absolutely nothing at all?"