Job Hopper Club Member Gifts

"I've been fired from my last five jobs."

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

"I've got those 'Don't worry about me, I'll just be here, all alone' blues."

Clubbing

Mom? Eco club is starting a campaign to eat local food. Good idea. Would you please pack me a lunch from organic stuff grown near here? Ok. I'm sure we have something. Thanks! Oh, boy. A beet sandwich.

"I'm good at ticking boxes."

"The only thing worse than being unemployed is having a job."

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

'I'm not here looking for a job. I'm the temp who's replacing you when the boss fires you today.'

"Let's honor this young future farmer - he's ready to endure hard labor, long hours and outrageously low farm prices..."

'What else do you have going for you besides being aggressive?'

"I've been an accountant, an actuary, an advertising exec, an administrator, an architect, an art director, and an auditor, and now I'd like to move on to the B's."

"You're one of the short termed employed. You're out of here tomorrow."

"I can handle a wide variety of work. In fact I've had ten different jobs in four months."

"This poem was written at a time in my life when I wrote a poem."

"I see by your resume, you don't stay in one place long."

'He made me jump through hoops, but I got the job...'

Two man congratulating a 'Jazz club' "Real Cool" and "Real Hot"

"I've been dying to hit the dance floor in a crowded nightclub."

'I heard you got a job at that new club. It must be great."

"That's not all I do. Actually I'm a psychological counselor- gymnast-motivational speaker-relaxation therapist-sex worker."

Personnel. What do I call those gaps in my work history? Quality time.

Bouncer.

Too much ambition results in promotion to a job you can't do.

"I'm leaving my job so that I can spend time with another job."

'We have an opening for a receptionist and a sales person and I'm ready to quit. How are you at multitasking?'

'When I grow up I', going to be an electrical engineer and when I'm laid off, I'm going to go into real estate and when that goes down the tube, I'm going to go into . . . '

"I'll be right back. If you need anything, just holler."

Trade School. Going to trade school after our real estate business collapsed was a good idea! These days it's all about "vocation, vocation, vocation"!

"I like my job. It keeps me alive."

'The nightlife around here? Pretty boring if you ask me Dude: My parents are awake...'

Employment Office. I see by your resume that you don't stay in one place very long.

Beer goggles, whiskey binoculars and absinthe telescope.

'Actually, we're members of a mountain climbing club named for sir Edmund Hillary.'

"I'm leaving Friday and we are all going to the club after work. Will you come?"