Job Hopper Gifts

"I'm leaving my job so that I can spend time with another job."

'We have an opening for a receptionist and a sales person and I'm ready to quit. How are you at multitasking?'

'When I grow up I', going to be an electrical engineer and when I'm laid off, I'm going to go into real estate and when that goes down the tube, I'm going to go into . . . '

'He made me jump through hoops, but I got the job...'

"I'll be right back. If you need anything, just holler."

"You're late for your interview, Dawson – I like that."

Creature Plumbing

"You're one of the short termed employed. You're out of here tomorrow."

"Let's honor this young future farmer - he's ready to endure hard labor, long hours and outrageously low farm prices..."

After his first day at work, Joe Chang decided mining wasn't to be his chosen career.

'I'm not here looking for a job. I'm the temp who's replacing you when the boss fires you today.'

'Remember, this is only a temp position.'

"Would I be able to work nights?"

Too much ambition results in promotion to a job you can't do.

'I found my dream job, you start Monday...'

'That's funny - all of your employers that I called are now out of business.'

Temporary Employment Agency. I know I said I never wanted to be married to a job, but I'm getting tired of all this dating.

"Chasing, digging, rolling, fetching. . . have you no experience doing absolutely nothing at all?"

Trump is Creating Thousands of Jobs and I Have Held All of Them

Career Choices Made Easy

"I've been an accountant, an actuary, an advertising exec, an administrator, an architect, an art director, and an auditor, and now I'd like to move on to the B's."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

My brilliant career

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

"Look Billington, if you can't take the strain, tell me, ok?"

'Someone important is bound to see my resume now!'

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'