Job Hoppers Gifts

'Hey, wait a minute! Aren't you my old careers master?'

'I fancy a new challenge of driving slow with something cold in a box.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

My brilliant career

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'Excellent!...We've been looking to hire someone who can think outside the box.'

"This resumé has the kind of sizzle we're looking for."

'Someone important is bound to see my resume now!'

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

And I like to call this my 'dance of the enhanced PEP at alternative firms'.

'Yes I'm sure we can find an opening for you, Mr Smith!'

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

"The election's over, Trump won, the illegals are being deported and I'm here for one of them there high-paying American jobs he promised."

'Your resume seems in order, Mr. Lupo, but would you explain exactly why you want to work here> Mr. Lupo...?

Help wanted. Various positions available.

'What I lack in cognitive flexibility, I make up for in moral flexibility.'

'You've spelt 'C.V.' wrongly.'

Ace headhunters.

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

'I think I'm decisive. Can I get back to you on that?'

"Call me a taxi if I start foaming at the mouth."

"These are excellent qualifications... so good that our largest competitor would gladly pay you twice as much."

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

'We want you to take the hindmost.'

"This is one of those great jobs you'd be willing to do for free. Will you do it for free?"

The first case of resume padding.

"How's the job interviews going?" "Not well. Seems they only want the best and the brightest."

'I'm not here looking for a job. I'm the temp who's replacing you when the boss fires you today.'

'You don't want the job, do you?'

"Nice touch." - Resume playing music.

'Have you got a resume?'

'Are all of these letters of recommendation from your mother?'