Jesus Story Admirer Gifts

Jesus as a child discovers one of His many peculiarities.

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

"Sorry kids, wrong house. This one is made of vegetables."

"Are we really gonna do this?!"

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

'Gee, I just never get tired of this!'

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

Joseph and his coat

So … how did you two meet?

The creation of the duck billed platypus.

"I find it comforting to have Off-Broadway plays in the background."

Bloke orders a pizza as Jesus divides the loafs and fishes

Moses' TV guide.

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

Soldier to David about Goliath: 'You did that with a step, a flick and a follow-through? Talk about high impact exercise!'

"We don't see ourselves as either a David or a Goliath. We're content to just be the company that manufactures the sling shots."

'We'd better speed up the Eve project -- Adam's got himself an imaginary playmate.'

Need tickets.

'If Adam and Eve didn't have any clothes, why didn't they go to the mall?'

'Well, yes, Jennifer -- I suppose Samson WAS sort of like Wolverine.'

Mass Exodus.

"Now who's being judgy?"

"There's talk of a merger with London Zoo."

"He is stingy. If he is giving gold it's only because prices have hit rock-bottom..."

"It says God created heaven and earth, then there was light. Why didn't He do it the other way round, when He could see what He was doing?"

John the Baptist was clothed in camels hair and eight locusts.