Jesus Enthusiast Gifts

The Last Supper or the First Easter?

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

Adam names the animals (He puts sticky notes on them saying Shaz, Dave, Trish etc).

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

Priest

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

The ecumenical dinner party.

"What did Jesus order?"

Christian and Born again Christian...

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

My mother says the bible is full of good people, like Moses, who brought kindness to the world. That alone makes it a worthy basis for morality in today's world. Moses, Numbers 31:9-18(NIV), look it up.

Noah's ark, many lions

10 Commitments? Sure, I guess I could give him those, too.

The First Printed Bible

"Hurry! Let's go! The world will be better off without his kind."

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

"Wow, Jesus. That lesson rocked, someone should write this stuff down."

Meet the Author

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

"As a child of the pastor, did you stop and think that just because you can belch the books of the Bible, should you?"

'If you're omnipresent, why do I always have to climb way up here?'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

"No, the Trinity is not the Father, The Son, and the Preacher's wife."

Adam and Eve, as old people.

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!