Jesus Gifts

'How did you EXPECT me to come back?'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

Tree in Dollar Shape.

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

'And finally, there is the universal solution.'

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

Money Bar.

'You say you type 80 words a minute ... Actually, that's not at all important...!'

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

"Oh, yes - BEAUTIFUL singer he was - but could he snap his fingers. . ?"

It's all fixed. Just don't type anything that contains the letter ‘E'.

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

'No, boss, this isn't a secret code. My spell check is broken and this is what my typing actually looks like.'

'How many words per minute do you type?'

Rock On

'We don't know what the final result will look like, but the movie rights have already been optioned.'

The Ship of Fools. The earth as a ship, heading for destruction as people party, oblivious to the danger

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.

'It's not encrypted, Captain. That's just the clerk's usual typing.'

'Not only can I not find the middle class tax cut, I can't find the middle class.'

Sales Secretary

"Wow! I knew you were rich, but I didn't know you were that rich!"

'My stretch goal for this year is to get 52 weekly paychecks.'

'Your training will be the next five minutes watching my fingers move at the speed of light.'

'Why is it when you hit two keys by mistake, the one you don't want appears on the screen?'

'How many words a minute do you type?' - 'Big ones or little ones?'

Nice moves—is that an air piano or are you doing the E-Mail?"

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'

"It's a cross between pop and rap. We call it 'pap.'"

'I can type 500 words per minute.'