Jesus Buff Gifts

maria!... Jezus has been playing with the bread again!

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'Yes, all at once!'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

TSA Noah

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

"Believe me it's only an apple."

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

Bible Bloopers

'Look man, no wings!'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

President S Grant's Proposed Civil Service Reform not to the Taste of Certain Senators

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

Caption Contest TK

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"Now tell us, Davey, what kind of rock did you use?"

Adam and Eve, as old people.

"Build it 300 cubits long? I thought you said centimetres!"

'Even More Disciples'

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

'Don't you think they'd be better off in the water?'

'Moses looks back - 'The commandments, the Red Sea, the books of the bible, but I never had a hit song.'

Don't tell me fibs! I know ou wrote to the Corinthians, and ya wrote to the Romans, bnot to mention to Galatians, but do you write to your mother?

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.