Baptism Buff Gifts

"Let's not forget who's christening WHO,sonny boy!"

A baby being christened in a scuba mask.

Hank, the neighborhood homeless person was shocked when the lights came on in the sanctuary during his Saturday night bathtismal.

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'Yes, all at once!'

Early Piety

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

TSA Noah

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

'Are we there yet?'

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

Baby rocks!

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

'Look man, no wings!'

Caption Contest TK

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

"My child when you look at a flower,you see the face of god!"

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

"Believe me it's only an apple."

Bible Bloopers

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"Build it 300 cubits long? I thought you said centimetres!"

Baptism Then and Now

"Now tell us, Davey, what kind of rock did you use?"