Baptism Buff Gifts

"Let's not forget who's christening WHO,sonny boy!"

A baby being christened in a scuba mask.

Hank, the neighborhood homeless person was shocked when the lights came on in the sanctuary during his Saturday night bathtismal.

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'Yes, all at once!'

Early Piety

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

TSA Noah

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

'Are we there yet?'

Baby rocks!

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

Bible Bloopers

"Believe me it's only an apple."

"My child when you look at a flower,you see the face of god!"

Caption Contest TK

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

'Look man, no wings!'

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

'It makes baptisms a lot more fun for everyone.'

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'