Vatican Buff Gifts

'Sir, you're not going to believe this but the vatican is preparing to move into our territory.'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

Champagne

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

If nobody had invented graphics

'Yes, all at once!'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

TSA Noah

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

Video Henge: made from melting and molding 3,000,000 obsolete VCR tapes.

'I'll blurb you if you'll blurb me.'

Local rock claims to have been muse for Emily Dickinson poem "I'm that 'little stone' honest to goodness!"

Tina Turner

"Please don't watch this show! There's a viewer trigger warning and a short fuse alert."

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

Bible Bloopers

"Believe me it's only an apple."

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

'Look man, no wings!'

Caption Contest TK

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

"Now tell us, Davey, what kind of rock did you use?"

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

"Screw this—I'm going to work for the tabloids."