Vatican Buff Gifts

'Sir, you're not going to believe this but the vatican is preparing to move into our territory.'

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

Champagne

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

If nobody had invented graphics

'Yes, all at once!'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

Video Henge: made from melting and molding 3,000,000 obsolete VCR tapes.

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

TSA Noah

Local rock claims to have been muse for Emily Dickinson poem "I'm that 'little stone' honest to goodness!"

'I'll blurb you if you'll blurb me.'

Stephen Fry

Tina Turner

Moses Today. Due to the sensitive nature of this matter, my source wishes to remain anonymous.

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

Caption Contest TK

Bible Bloopers

"Believe me it's only an apple."

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'Look man, no wings!'

"Please don't watch this show! There's a viewer trigger warning and a short fuse alert."

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

A Creature WAS Stirring

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.