Vatican Aficionado Gifts

The road to conclave.

Papal Diplomacy

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

Vlad the Inhaler

Astral Projection

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"Sorry. My blood sugar has just been running a little low lately."

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

Dracula vacationing in Venice feeding bats in the Piazza of St. Mark.

Dance of the Red (Papal) Shoes.

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'

Vampire coming out of a body piercing shop with a stake in his heart

Movie Monster Exhibit: Unavailable due to much needed repair work.

'I hate waking up with coffin hair.'

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

Vampire Bat

Lady vampire putting lipstick on in a mirror with no reflection

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

Little Van Helsing was dissapointed that, again, there was no monster under the bed or in the closet.

"I didn't want you doing what you did on our last date."

Love Hurts

Happy Valentine's Day

'Count Dracula, I wish you'd come to me sooner...'

"Look, we're three thousand years old. No one's going to hire us."

Vampire with a violin

"Wait! First, his attorney."

'The wife has me on a strict 'O Negative' diet.'

Count Flatula

'Yeah? Well... bite me! No... wait!'

Two vampire businessmen on their way to work. One yawns and says: 'I've got to sort out my work-death balance.'

Count Alucard's Night-Care Center.

'At least, you could have left a tip.'