Baptism Buffs Gifts

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'Yes, all at once!'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

TSA Noah

'Are we there yet?'

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

'Look man, no wings!'

"Believe me it's only an apple."

Bible Bloopers

Caption Contest TK

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

'Even More Disciples'

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

"Build it 300 cubits long? I thought you said centimetres!"

"Now tell us, Davey, what kind of rock did you use?"

Adam and Eve, as old people.

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

'Don't you think they'd be better off in the water?'

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.

Don't tell me fibs! I know ou wrote to the Corinthians, and ya wrote to the Romans, bnot to mention to Galatians, but do you write to your mother?

'Moses looks back - 'The commandments, the Red Sea, the books of the bible, but I never had a hit song.'