Baptism Buffs Gifts

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'Yes, all at once!'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

TSA Noah

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'Are we there yet?'

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

Bible Bloopers

'Look man, no wings!'

Caption Contest TK

"Believe me it's only an apple."

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

'Even More Disciples'

"But Mom, how can it be a vacation when you're taking me to school?"

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

"Build it 300 cubits long? I thought you said centimetres!"

"Now tell us, Davey, what kind of rock did you use?"

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

Adam and Eve, as old people.

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

'Don't you think they'd be better off in the water?'

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.

'Moses looks back - 'The commandments, the Red Sea, the books of the bible, but I never had a hit song.'