Baptism Connoisseur Gifts

"Yo! You check the pH lately? I have sensitive eyes, ya know."

'A cheeky red?'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

Bacchus.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"I find that hugely offensive!"

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

"I've tasted better myself, but you've got to admit the service is good."

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

Best Before 5th Pint.

'You certainly have a well equipped workbench.'

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"I make it myself!"

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"Scotch and water musick."

"They always throw us stale bread, so I've decided to bake my own, fresh break..."

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"So, Danny Boy, what's up in your world?"

"Shower beers? Aisle eight."

"I'm prescribing a mild sedative. Go wine shopping and get yourself a nice Chablis."

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

Leo McKern

"What'll ya have?"

"Fetch me another Sculpin IPA."

'Been toying with Bordeaux futures again, have we?'

'A quick pint or a quiet drink?'

4 Reasons People Love Oktoberfest

'Malty tasking.'

Yes. As a matter of fact he IS an indoor cat.

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

French Army knife

'I don't get it, I've only served that guy water all evening.'