Church Connoisseur Gifts

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

The 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th baptist church buildings in a row

Instructional guide to scribbling

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

Archimedes statue with a lever

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

Piano Recital

Mendelssohn Finds His Inspiration

'Not even close man - easy listening's around the corner.'

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

"That's our new church mascot."

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Origami horse leaping out of a book about origami

"Hey, would you mind taking a quick sculpture of me and my family?"

'The Easter Bunny has started outsourcing to us.'

Sir Edward Elgar

"Some Debussy, Igor."

'All it needs is a ceiling fan.'

'Theaters from Hell' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

Music Student

God is for life not just for Christmas.

"How awful! - was he a band, or an orchestra conductor?"

"Since you're into burnt offerings you should come over some Sunday for one of her special dinners."

Man frozen in portrait pose.

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

'Details of the summer fete can be found on our website. The address is on the notice board at the back of the church.'

Cosmetic Stone Mason.

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

About the potter.

Brahms and Liszt at Christmas!

'Look Clara, I'm telling you for the last time, it's not me who's crazy. It's Eusebius.'

Sergey Rahmaninov

Richard Wagner's other Ring Cycle.