Baptism Banterer Gifts

"John, how are you gonna Baptize me when you throw like a girl?"

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

"This stool shall pass."

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

Lesbians for Christ

Wine Talking

A baby being christened in a scuba mask.

The 1st annual pet baptism was also the last

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

"Yo! You check the pH lately? I have sensitive eyes, ya know."

At Michawl Phelps' baptism.

'You've had enough!'

"I'd say my favourite wine is the sixth one."

"Why is this certificate all wet?"

"Having bitten the apple I think we should cover our phones with fig-leaves."

"Now that we can talk, we have to have meetings."

"D'you have sparkling?"

'Did you ever realize that we're really drinking coffee out of large sippy cups?'

Instant human... just add coffee

Official Whore Artist/Official Piss Artist

Archbishop Jokes.

"It's just a precaution, we've had a few close calls lately."

'Sorry, no carbs.'

Conrad Grebel (Anabaptism)

'Ha, water from the sky indeed. What's next, I wonder? Colors in the sky in the shape of an arc? This guy's a real whack job."

Yeah, but I hear she lays a mean Scotch egg.

What year is this? Pardon? Aromatic. Full-bodied. Very approachable. Buttery. Swish swish swish. Yet with aggressive undertones, and an unforgiving aftertaste. Acidic after all. I should like another year. Something crisp yet dry. It's instant decaf coffee brewer with tap water! He's quite aggressive. And not so full-bodied. Pretentious people stink.

Smoke gets in your eyes.

A patrolman pulls over a nude man on a motorcycle who is wearing angel wings and a snorkelmask. says:' Late for your baptism eh?.... .'

"Let's not forget who's christening WHO,sonny boy!"

A priest is about to christen a baby with a bottle of champagne.

"I took a viagra before going to the senior citizen's dance, last night, and I couldn't get anyone to come to my place. So there I stood, all dressed up and no place to go!"

"Your bible says disobedient children should be stoned to death. Won't you agree that capital punishment is an improper parenting technique?"

'Of course you feel unwell. You have too much blood in your alcohol stream!'