Biblical Banterers Gifts

"A world-wide flood? -- Couldn't you just get rid of everybody by attrition?"

"Now are you happy?"

Ghostwriting the Bible

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

Noah's life jacket demonstration

"Does the ark have wifi?"

Lesbians for Christ

'Did You say 'ark' or 'ork'?'

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

"Hey samson, nice man bun."

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

'Any chance these are available in paperback?'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'And He sayeth unto me, 'Behold this second set of my commandments, rendered in stone, large-print edition...''

'He says its a subprime fruit we can have at an adjustable rate, what's the worst that could happen?'

"Having bitten the apple I think we should cover our phones with fig-leaves."

'Life is becoming more and more expensive.'

'I said, 'Roses.' Stop and smell the Roses!'

'On that Noah thing, just rinse and repeat as necessary.'

'You went and ate in the apple orchard, didn't you?'

"I'm getting real sick of picking up your laundry, Adam."

"Jesus, walking on top of the water does not count as a bath."

"The disciples are gonna be totally freaked."

"Oh. . . and this one, Jerimiah 19.9 'And I will make them eat the flesh or their sons and daughters'."

"Hi. I'm Rod. And this is my staff."

Noah's arc - dove brings newspaper.

'Did you ever realize that we're really drinking coffee out of large sippy cups?'

'Who was Noah's wife?'