Biblical Banter Enthusiast Gifts

The Last Supper in a restaurant.

David and Goliath's sons

'On that Noah thing, just rinse and repeat as necessary.'

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'Do you think that's wise?'

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

Moses' Tablet

Ghostwriting the Bible

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

Fishing with God

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

"What did you expect in the land of milk and honey?"

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

Noah's life jacket demonstration

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

The Reason Ed isn't mentioned in the bible.

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

Christian and Born again Christian...

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

"I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer."

Noah's ark, many lions

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

'Well, there go all MY plans....'