Jesus Buff Pillows

maria!... Jezus has been playing with the bread again!

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'Yes, all at once!'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

TSA Noah

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

"Believe me it's only an apple."

Caption Contest TK

'Look man, no wings!'

Bible Bloopers

President S Grant's Proposed Civil Service Reform not to the Taste of Certain Senators

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'Even More Disciples'

"Build it 300 cubits long? I thought you said centimetres!"

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

"Now tell us, Davey, what kind of rock did you use?"

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

"But Mom, how can it be a vacation when you're taking me to school?"

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

Adam and Eve, as old people.

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

'Don't you think they'd be better off in the water?'

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.

'Moses looks back - 'The commandments, the Red Sea, the books of the bible, but I never had a hit song.'