Him Gifts

"It's even worse than we feared... Man-Covid!"

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Looks like we found the issue."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"Young Frankenstein"

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Bond James, Bond."

Playing Fetch.

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

Copycats

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'