Self Gifts

Leave your troubles in the bubbles

So You've Cloned Yourself

"Honey, did you see where I placed that book entitled:'How to improve your memory?"

Window Treatment

"You'll get over him."

"I hope I'm single for Valentine's because only I fully know my worth in chocolate."

'Dear Diary, Well... I'm still looking for Mrs. Alright...'

Inner calm.

'My best and most beloved friend - thanks so much for coming!'

'I'm going through a very painful divorce.'

"Relax. I told you we still look great in our bathing suits."

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

Self help acupuncture

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

Work/Life Balance

Take the time to do something nice for yourself. Your kids will thank you. That is, if you ever decide to have them.

Bad fake tan day.

"It's days like this that make me long for days like this."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

Bad hair day!

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

People in the mirror may be more attractive than they appear.

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

Elfie Stick

Busy man, busy life, busy shirt.

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"